I found myself driving down my old street today. It was on the way to my destination, and I hadn’t driven by in about a month, which really isn’t very long, but sentimentality seemed to compel me onward. I think about this house, and it’s occupants, often. It was my last permanent residence as a single girl. It was the home of my last permanent single roommates, my last first kiss and hand holding, and where Becka and Zac began. Where he brought me oranges when I was sick, and asked me to be his girlfriend. Where I prepared for Lizzy’s wedding day with her, and fought off bugs, and shower fiends with Sarah. It was where I last lived with my best friend, Alicia, and where, for three years, my pooch HermioneFancy first made her home. It was the bedroom I brought her home to at 8 weeks old, and well, I just love that house. And so, I guess I just wanted to check up on it, make sure it was being treated alright, make sure its new occupants, who I’m sure are great, are showing it some love.
Speaking of showing love, I think I’ve learned this the best from all my roommates these last 10-12 years, from college, and on into the single years of my 20’s. There’s nothing like living with someone day in and day out to learn their idiosyncrasies and know their ins and outs. This kind of knowledge best equips you to love them well. And so, thank you to all the ladies I’ve lived with these past 12ish years. Here’s how you’ve shown me to show love.
1.) Always be ready for damage control. Know your roommate well, and know just what will make a poopy day better. For some, it’s a meandering around Target, for others, it’s making a batch of brownies, for yet others it’s a run together, and for me, well, it was when my taco salad bowl got picked up after I threw it across the kitchen, or when I came home late to find a cake I’d made frosted for me.
2.) Be spontaneous. Love each other by adventuring together. If that means putting away your studies, putting on your sweatpants, and driving to the beach at 10pm at night just to find yourself maybe perhaps skinny dipping in October foggy night waves, well so be it. These are the moments we were born for. Love them.
3.) Pray with each other. Some of the ways I’ve best been shown love are those moments sitting on my floor crying, when my roommate drops me a note, sits and cries with me, and prays. Or those blissful days of happiness on a sandy beach on Cancun, sitting, praying for each other watching the night surf bring giant sea tortoises to shore.
4.) Share your day. Take turns talking about the stuff that happened and who’s coworker went bezerk. Everyone’s job is different, and days are not the same, that’s why they’re meant to be shared. Some may engineer landfills and need to talk about the process of putting liners in trash dumps, while others teach small children and need to talk about the kid who only has one pair of pants and they got dirty today, and he is sad. Others are studying to be nurses and they see crazy things and they clear out bedpans, and well, they just need to share their grossness with someone who they don’t have to put a heart monitor on.
5.) Create routines together. Could be “weekend duty,” a house-wide rule to sleep in the buff to celebrate the coming of Friday. Could be ordering Little Green Onions and watching Grey’s Anatomy together. Could be deciding that for once, when you all watch a movie together, no one will have their laptop turned on. Could be just the opposite, and everyone face books each other messages while in the same room, maybe even on the same couch.
Life is hard. Days can get messy. But one thing my single years taught me, is how to love in the good and the bad. I am, now, on the other end of some bad ones, and thankful for the ones who showed me love throughout our college apartments, our first place on our own apartment, our 611swag, and our kat house days. Thank you, girls for showing me so much love. It’s now my turn to take those love lessons, and show love to the man who becomes my permanent roommate in 5 days.