If I ruled the world…

I can’t help but think of the Beyonce song when I summon my list of “If I ruled the world.” She sings about girls running the world, and of course there’s the age old joke that if you want something done right, ask a woman. I’m sure it applies and all that jazz. But, I’m just as sure that if I ran the world, things would go horribly awry, and quickly. Mostly, I would go horribly awry, and quickly, because who wants THAT responsibility?! No thanks.

Nonetheless, all other things being equal, if I ruled the world…

No one would ever be put on hold over the telephone.

Taxes would be unnecessary.

School would start at 9am and end at 3pm, Monday through Thursday only.

Everyone would find their spouse at a young (ish) age.

Dogs would live forever… AND go to heaven.

The word orphan would be obsolete, the concept nonexistent.

Walls would paint themselves.

Animals’ minds would be readable, similar to how they can talk in Narnia.

Criminals would be punished via their own sin.

Friends would never move.

Writers would never have blocks.

Ice cream would contain no calories.


Lists, in their entirety, would be crossed off daily.


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