Disclaimer: Before reading this blog, please realize I am by no means anti-patriotic, traitorous, communist, or ready to go join the other ex-pat writers of the 20th century (and Johnny Depp) by moving to the South of France to hang out in chic little sidewalk cafes and pubs. I believe this land is your land and my land, and God bless America for amber waves of grain, and all that jazz.

But sometimes, a girl’s just gotta vent. And today is that day. Big Brother has been getting on my nerves lately. In the last year, I have spent more money on paying traffic tickets than I have spent on a semester of grad school (at a private school!) Yeah, marinate on that. The majority of that money was because of those damn camera tickets at intersections where I got caught for a California roll. I also got two tickets (the first from a flesh and blood officer in my LIFE) in the same week. Highway robbery if you ask me.

Anyways, back to today, the source of inspiration for this post. Today, my friend Natalie came to visit. When she left, she was greeted by a $45 parking fine. Yes, for parking in front of our house for a friendly neighborhood chat. Apparently, there is an obscurely placed sign somewhere near our street stating that on every second and fourth Tuesday and Thursday of the month, from the hours of 2:30 – 4:30, it is illegal to park on the street. Um, excuse me, what?! This needs to go in the most absurd laws every written book. But, what is more absurd is that this law is actually policed and enforced. I actually pay, via my taxes, some cop eating donuts to drive down my street every other Tuesday and Thursday afternoon to see if some person (probably myself, a roommate, or a friend) is parked in front of my house.

The cops are not chasing bad guys, fighting villains, or decreasing crime rates. Nope, they are charging recently graduated college students the price of a textbook for kickin’ it with the homies, instead of out apprehending the real homies probably smuggling weed across the street.

And on a more serious note, I would like to point out this problem with our governmental system. Now, mind you, I realize our government is not bombing us, butchering us, or starving us, like many places around the world, so I will be thankful. But, and that’s a big BUT, I called in a CPS report on a 6-year-long case of sexual assault on a minor on Monday and it has yet to be investigated. Oh, but mind you, Natalie is getting ticketed for parking on a residential street in the middle of suburbia.

Yea, rapists are on the loose, but not traffic violaters. Oh no, those people are safely being punished. This is not only punitive, but preposterous and unsettling. It’s what our military would consider a fubar. F*cked up beyond recognition. Now, Lady Justice isn’t so screwed that she’s unrecognizable, but I swear, some days, I think Big Brother has aged her considerably.

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